Kari Neal: Her Story Before, During, and After Prison

This summer, as I was reflecting on the six-year mark of my mom being incarcerated, I got an idea. I often feel like there’s not much I can do to help those who are experiencing incarceration or those who have loved ones in. It convinces me that I should choose to do nothing. After some thought and prayer, though, I decided it was better to try and use my voice, even if it was to bring awareness to one person. The past six years of my mom being in prison have been incredibly eye opening. It’s given me a heart for those in prison and for those affected by the prison system.  I so deeply want to hear women’s stories who have found themselves incarcerated and remind them how cared for they are. I want to remind them that they are loved, and they are not defined by a label or by what they have done. I want to encourage them to use their voice and to use this part of their story to speak up for issues they are passionate about. I thought it would be a cool idea to incorporate my photography and capture these women I get the privilege of meeting, showing them how I see them.

I got the opportunity to meet one of my mom’s former cellmates a few months back. Her name is Kari Neal. I asked her to go grab some coffee with me because I wanted to hear her story and hear about her life before, during, and after prison. I wanted to ask her about her dreams. I wanted to ask her if she experienced injustice by the prison system and how that has affected her. I also asked her if being incarcerated has affected the way others view her, and how she wishes she would instead be perceived. I also asked if she was willing to share more about herself and her experience with more than just me. She jumped on board and shared with me that this has been a dream of hers since being released. She wants to use her voice to spread awareness to the things she and women close to her have experienced.

My coffee date with her was incredible. I left feeling so encouraged by how she chose to invite me into this part of her story and how she wasn’t afraid to talk about the hard things. She also shared stories and memories she had with my mom, which made it all the more special for me. Kari is a gem of a human. Her story is incredible, and she has lots to say. I wanted to open up the opportunity for her to share with you guys, so I told her she has free rein to use this however she would like.

I hope you read this and are encouraged by her words, but I also hope you leave with a new sense of awareness that so much more is happening behind the scenes within prisons than what is shared with the public. I hope you can join us in advocating for those who don’t have the chance to do so for themselves.

Here is Kari.

If I only knew where to begin with this.....

They say everyone has a story and that story begins with your name.

So, let me introduce myself.

My name is Kari,

When I was three months old my birth parents realized they were not capable of raising me and made the choice to give me up to my grandparents (my Dads parents).

My grandparents obtain legal custody of me. They were both hard working and raised me in a good household. They taught me everything I needed to know to succeed in this world. They provided me above and beyond and I had a normal childhood. We went on vacations and made a lot of memories. There were a few times that I lived with my other grandparents (my Moms Mom) but the majority of my childhood was spent with my Mama and Papa (my dads Mom and step dad).My mama and Papa tried their best to shelter me from the ugliness in this world. They taught me responsibilities and did everything a parent should do in raising a child.

By the time I was a teenager I got into the wrong crowd and started going down a dark road. I started hanging out with people far older than I was and partaking in smoking cigarettes. It wasn't long after that I started smoking weed and shortly followed with meth. When I was 16 years old I decided I wanted to be an adult and packed a bag and left home. Once I left home things got worse rapidly. I had nowhere to live so I was going from house to house and sometimes even sleeping outside. I had no money and had no job so the easiest and best solution was to get into a relationship with the person selling the drugs I was doing. It didn't take long before I was taking charges for my boyfriend (drug dealer).

There came a breaking point in my life where I laid in bed one night crying out to God for him to take me out of the lifestyle I was living in before I ended up dead. It was the very next morning that we were arrested.

The first two weeks I was so sick from detoxing off drugs. Once I wasn't sick anymore reality struck that I was in jail and I was going to prison.... I had never been to prison before or sat in jail very long. All I could think is that I am 20 years old and I am about to GO TO PRISON....I knew I couldn't call anyone to bail me out or help me because I had put myself there. It was time for me to pay the consequences for my poor decisions. I went to court for my state charges and was sentenced to 1 year state jail and 3 years TDC (Texas prison). I pulled the chain shortly later and went to TDC. I was there a few months and made parol. Once I made parol I was then taken to state jail to do the 1 year state jail sentence I received. A month before my release date I got a call to the chaplains office where I received the news that my Mother had passed away. It was one of the worst days of my life. When I got back to the dorm I called my Mama to tell her and she told me that my Uncle (her brother) had just passed 5 days prior to this and that the obituary was in the mail being sent to me. I could not believe what I was hearing. I went to my bed and cried for what seemed like eternity. The thought of not being able to attend the funerals or ever say goodbye was gut wrenching. I was so close to getting released or atleast thought I was... 3 weeks later I was called to discharge. I was told to pack all my stuff and go to discharge. I was in disbelief as I still had a week left on my sentence and was trying to get into a place called Teen shelter upon release. When I arrived at discharge the Marshalls were sitting there with a federal warrant for my arrest. I could NOT believe it. They were rushing me and told me that they would mail my property to me.... I asked if I could take the pictures of my mother who had just passed and they told me NO it would all be mailed to me. They proceeded to take me to a federal holding facility a few hours away. As I sat in federal holding I kept asking for my property that had the pictures of my mother in it and even sent the facility the stamps to mail it to me. They never sent me ANYTHING. I sat at the holding facility for a few months not having a clue of what was going to happen. When I went to court the judge gave me 8 years. All I could do was accept what had just happened and do the time given to me.

Once I got to federal prison things started to sink in. I started thinking about everything. All the pain I had caused my family. All of the poor decisions I had made. All of the time I was going to be gone. I was flooded with all kinds of emotions and feelings. I knew that I had to get my act together. I started applying for apprenticeships, jobs, classes, and any and everything I could do to better myself.

I also didn't know how to deal with things the right way as in emotions, pain, and guilt. So, I started running with people that werent ready to change yet. That soon landed me in the SHU (segregated housing unit). It also taught me a lesson that if I wanted to change I had to be around like minded people and stop running with the wrong crowd. I started working, going to classes, and church. I found so much peace and happiness in church. Every time I would go it was an escape from the chaos and reality I was living in. It also brought healing to my heart and I learned what unconditional love was.

It took me a few years in prison before I knew I was in the right mindset and was going to make the right decisions upon release.

Prison.....What do I say about prison.....It actually became my saving grace.....

However, the things we face in prison are beyond imaginable.

When you become an inmate you become just that....You are no longer a name, you are a number...Some staff treat you as humans and some staff treat you as the disgrace of this earth.

Once you arrive at Texas State Prison you are obligated to carry a heavy mat and all of your linen with you across the yard to your unit (where you will be staying). Once in your unit, you rely on the other girls to show you around and teach you about what's going on.

In the summertime, there is no air conditioner in the units so it is HOT. We would get our sheets wet and throw them on top of us trying to stay cool. There are a lot of times when women would fall out from the heat.

During chow time (when you eat) you walk in a single-file line to the cafeteria where officers are yelling at you from the time you walk in the door to the time you exit. Once you walk in the doors you are given 15 minutes to eat. The 15 minutes start before you even get your food or sit down. If you are unable to eat your food in the remaining amount of time you have left once you sit down, it doesn't matter because the officers are yelling for you to get up and leave.

Everything you have to go to is outside...This means if it is raining you are soaking wet, if it is cold you are cold, if it is hot then you are hot...it wouldn't be that bad of a deal if they gave you proper clothing to wear during weather conditions.

You are to walk in a single file line anywhere you are escorted to. Your nails are checked and if too long then you are stopped and given fingernail clippers to cut them (they are considered a dangerous weapon if too long).

The officers yell at you and call you horrible degrading names... It is a nightmare of a reality.

Once I got to federal prison I thought I was in heaven compared to State prison because there was air conditioning....

You were able to eat your food at your own pace and you had what seemed like a little more freedom compared to State prison....

Boy, was I in for a rude awakening....

The accommodations as you would call them were a lot nicer as you didn’t have to carry the heavy mat with you and there was air conditioning....

However, when Covid hit, all hell broke loose.

During covid we were confined to our cells where 4 inmates shared one room that was roughly 6x9 feet. According to my measurements counted by my footsteps... The inmates are the ones that run the institution and by that I mean we are the ones that cook, do the laundry, maintain the facility, etc....

So, it was up to the staff to prepare our meals and do everything for us.

As you could imagine the staff did not know how to do any of that or just chose not to. They brought us lunch sacks (brown paper bags) that contained one piece of rotten meat and two-four pieces of bread. That was to last us the whole day. Once we started complaining about the meat being rotten they started bringing us raw onions cut in half with maybe a tomato or piece of lettuce. We were so hungry that we were literally eating raw onions... It was a nightmare and something no human should have to endure. There were people literally dying in our cells and we would cry out for help but the staff was so afraid to catch anything that they would just look through the window of the door and walk off. So many people passed away during this time that could have possibly been prevented if given help that it is truly heartbreaking. We are there to pay for our consequences. We weren't given life sentences. It is so sad that a lot of people walk into prison and never walk out due to the horrible things that take place there.

What I do have to say is that prison was my saving grace. It taught me a lot of lessons. It showed me a place that I never want to be again and taught me that we as people make mistakes. People are so quick to judge others but don't want the finger pointed at them.

Upon being released God has been so good to me. He has placed people and opportunities in my life that I am so grateful for...

I have such amazing testimony to share with the world and I hope that as you read this it opens your eyes to what the prison system is like and what people in recovery look like.

Something I have learned is "you can do anything you set your mind to". I mean that by saying this...When I set my mind to do bad I achieve that to the fullest, and when I set my mind to do good I am achieving that to the fullest....

I hope to share more of my story with you and others reading this......